Nick Favicchio
Plattsburgh, New York
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Peter,
Since I became interested in Cheng Hsin and started to incorporate its ideas and principles into my life, one problem has always troubled me. I've long tried to keep the five principles in mind,
incorporate them into all aspects of life, to feel and experience their reality... it has always felt "right" or where I wanted to be. Yet without fail, when I feel most into these things, I feel like I've abandoned
something else, other ideas, ways of thinking, of being, the paradigms that usually govern my life despite the fact that they do not bring me to where I'd like to be. I can't chalk this up to fear of change... I feel like I'm losing myself. Am I afraid to not exist? This doesn't feel true either. I've worked on this for so long and I don't feel like I've picked up any traction... its always been there. I move closer to "being" and something draws me back, it slips away. Any thoughts or ideas are appreciated.
Nick Favicchio
Nick,
People rarely appreciate the power of the five principles. I have said that if you really took on completely being in the principles 24 hours a day for two or three weeks, your reality would appear drastically different! Likely you'd be overwhelmed by it all. I can appreciate your challenge. Perhaps what you've abandoned isn't really worth hanging onto, but it is familiar, and more importantly it is "you" -- or what you have learned to identify with as key aspects of yourself. Don't underestimate the fear of not existing, it may not come as you imagine and it is not just an idea. You may not be afraid of the idea, yet when the familiar begins to be threatened, notice you all slip back into it. The mind is stronger than your mere thinking, or your cognized desires and ideas. Try not being in the familiar for longer than usual, see what happens. Perhaps over time the new way of being will become increasingly familiar and you can begin to identify yourself with that. Still something will be missing, something your self-mind holds is very important. Can you discover what that is?
Good luck,
Peter
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