Feeling of I Am

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Minh Nguyen Van
Paris, France
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Master Ralston,
You told me that the feeling of "I am" precedes memory responses about the I. In this feeling it
seems there is at the same time "perception" and "differentiation" of self/not self." Is this right?
Peter

Minh,
Actually I didn't say anything about the feeling of "I am." If we were to talk of a "feeling" regarding self, this would be a very different matter than the existence of self. I did say:
"The self certainly is identified relative to what is historical and so memory is a big part, but I don't think it is accurate to say that "I" is memory. At least one other ingredient is necessary, which is the conception that "I am." This is then followed by "I am this or that" based on identifying something that I am, which is a function of memory."

Whenever there is a self there is a not-self. They cannot exist independently. Memory can't exist until
something cognized has passed and then is re-created with a mimic of perception through
conceptualization. Without the distinction of "self" (and so not-self) there would be nothing to cognize and so remember. But it is also true that the self-"identity" is composed almost, if not completely, of memory -- which is to say, of elements cognized and then identified with. This builds a "sense" of self that is then confused with the "being" of self. If we are speaking of self as what is identified as an individual -- with a character, personality, and whatnot -- then this sense of self is "the" self. But if we speak of self as what exists as "being," or a consciousness with the potential to become attached to characteristics and behavior but is not itself these attachments, then the sense of self is not the real self.
Peter

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