Fear and Relaxation

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Dave Bruton
Birmingham, England
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Dear Peter
I have recently been putting more effort into my studies of ontology and have experienced some
difficulties that I hope you may be able to help me with. I have been doing a lot of reading to gain inspiration; things such as the Tao Te Ching, The Tao of Enlightenment, and many others such as your Principles of Effortless Power (which is brilliant by the way). This reading has led me to pay more
attention in daily life of my feelings and thoughts. I am finding it difficult to truly experience what is causing me to feel fear, although I think I am becoming better at realizing when unhelpful thoughts arise. Is this the correct course of action for me --attempting to notice when my ego is at play, and making a mental note that these thoughts and feelings are an obstacle which needs to be overcome? I am worried I am approaching becoming more present in the wrong way. I understand it is not an easy task, but sometimes I feel it is almost impossible to prevent myself from being controlled by other people's expectations, or more accurately what I think they are thinking.
One last question. When I am trying to relax my body and align with gravity, my muscles
(especially in my back) often tense up and shudder. Is this a side effect of trying to go into deep relaxation when my muscles and joints are locked? It is something that I have been interested in understanding because it is a sensation that repeats often when I concentrate on my body. Any ideas?
Thank you for your time.
Dave Bruton

David,
Regarding your fears: you notice that your thoughts have a connection with your fears. This is true. Stop thinking them. Fear is generated, not stumbled upon. This is a bit hard to grasp at first since so many fears seem to jump up at the speed of light. Yet with lots of contemplation, we can actually make finer distinctions within our fears which reveal that they occur as a process, even if it is at the speed of light. Fear is always based on something you are unwilling or resistant to experiencing. This of course must then be relating to a possible event that could take place in the future. This event could be an instant away or at an indeterminate time in the future, but it is always having not yet occurred.

So, we see that some of the most basic ingredients to fear are:
1. future
2. an unwillingness to experience, and
3. the concept that an unwanted possibility may occur.
This can all happen very quickly. But in the case of fearing what others think or expect, the time frame is far more easily discerned. Either stop all notion of future or stop your imaging of unpleasant possibilities occurring in the future; or be completely willing to experience whatever comes -- and relax. Do any or all of these and you will stop the fear. When it comes to what other people think: stop imagining what they think, or, perhaps even better, notice that it is your own thought and not theirs. Really! Whether in the end you assess that your assessment was true or not, it is still only thought. Forget about it.

I highly recommend that you attend the Month-Long here in Texas this April. For you, perhaps the ENB, a week-long Ontological section, would be most appropriate (and interesting).
ENB Spring Retreat Information and Sign Up.

Regarding your muscles: It really depends, I can't tell without personal contact. It could be that the muscles are just releasing tension. Given your fear issues, one guess is that you carry a good deal of tension (via worry and such) that is "stored" in your muscle tissues. After all, the muscles will react, even subtly, to the stimulus of the nerves that govern them. When any given mental activity is taking place, such as fear, the brain tissue will send out messages to the muscles. This may be background and not easily discerned, but can happen nevertheless. The body will build up a tightness that feels normal. Whenyou start concentrating on your body and trying to relax, this tension may be attempting to release, but having difficulty doing so. If this is the case, it will stop eventually. If it is due to old injuries or some other cause, it may also pass, but could take different care. That is just a guess, mind you, but relaxing is beneficial in any case. Keep it up.
Good luck,
Peter Ralston

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